Issue 005 | November 3, 2026

You Got the Feedback. Now What?

THE BRIEF

Early in my career, I walked into a performance review feeling good about the work I'd done. My manager praised my presentation skills, how I handled situations, the improvements I'd made to our weekly reporting, and the progress we'd made in the department.

I'd also made it clear that I wanted to grow within the organization. I was ambitious, eager to take on more responsibility, and interested in what it would take to move into a bigger role.

Then came the feedback: "You need more executive presence."

That was it.

I remember accepting it almost immediately. I thanked him for the feedback and moved on. It wasn't until later that I realized I had absolutely no idea what he meant.

What was I supposed to do differently? Was it the way I presented myself? The way I communicated? How I handled decisions? What did executive presence look like to him? And more importantly, what did that mean for my future in the organization?

I had received feedback that sounded important, but I had no idea how to use it. Looking back, I wish I'd known to ask a few more questions.

WHEN FEEDBACK SOUNDS CLEAR BUT ISN'T

"Be more strategic." "Show more confidence." "Take greater ownership." "Demonstrate more executive presence."

These are all things professionals might hear during a performance conversation, and they sound like reasonable development goals. But what do they actually mean?

Two people can have very different interpretations of what it means to be strategic or confident. One manager might associate executive presence with the ability to communicate a recommendation clearly. Another might think of how someone navigates disagreement or influences senior stakeholders.

Without a specific explanation, you're left trying to interpret someone else's expectations. That's where feedback becomes difficult to act on.

You can listen carefully, take notes, and agree with everything that's said, yet still walk away without knowing what you need to change. And if you don't know what needs to change, how do you know what improvement looks like?

YOUR CAREER IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

For a long time, I thought about that conversation in terms of what my manager hadn't explained. And yes, clearer feedback would have helped. But as I've grown in my career, I've also come to recognize something else: I had a responsibility in that conversation, too.

I was the person who wanted to advance. I was the person who needed to understand what was expected of me. And I was the person who would ultimately have to decide what to do next. Yet I left the conversation without asking the questions that could have helped me make those decisions.

I didn't know how to ask them then. Today, I approach these conversations differently.

You cannot control how clearly someone delivers feedback. You can ask questions that help you understand what they're trying to communicate, and you can decide what to do with the information you receive.

That doesn't mean every manager will have a clear answer. It doesn't mean every organization will offer the opportunities you're looking for. But it does mean you can stop treating feedback as a conclusion and start treating it as the beginning of a conversation.

TRY THIS: THREE QUESTIONS TO MAKE FEEDBACK USEFUL

The next time someone gives you feedback that feels vague, resist the urge to simply nod and move on. Ask three questions.

1. "Can you give me an example of what you mean?"

This helps move the conversation from a broad impression to something observable. If someone says you need to be more strategic, ask about a specific situation where they expected you to approach something differently.

2. "What would you need to see me do differently?"

An example helps you understand the feedback. This question helps you understand the expectation. You're asking what improvement would look like in practice, rather than leaving yourself to guess.

3. "What opportunities would help me develop this skill and demonstrate that I'm ready for the next step?"

If your goal is career advancement, connect the feedback to that goal. Find out whether there are projects, responsibilities, experiences, or development opportunities that would allow you to demonstrate growth.

And if the answer isn't clear, that's useful information, too. It tells you what you still need to investigate before making decisions about your career.

These questions won't guarantee that you'll receive the answers you want. But they can help you leave the conversation with a clearer understanding of your options.

THE CONVERSATION I WISH I'D HAD

When I think about that performance review now, I don't wish I'd argued with my manager or challenged his assessment. I wish I'd been curious enough, and equipped enough, to ask what he meant. I wish I'd understood that accepting feedback wasn't the same as understanding it.

Most importantly, I wish I'd known that I could take a more active role in a conversation about my own future.

A great deal of what I teach about workplace communication comes from lessons I had to learn through experience. I didn't always have the language, the questions, or the tools to navigate those moments. I developed them over time, and part of why I share these experiences is that I don't believe everyone should have to figure them out on their own.

So, as you prepare for your next performance review, think about the feedback you've received this year. Is there something you've been told to improve that you still can't clearly explain?

If there is, that's a conversation worth revisiting. Because feedback should give you something to work with, not leave you guessing about what comes next.

Until next time,

Natasha